


hell on the heart

by parkrstark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Gen, The ferry scene and the dad scolding scene from tony's POV, This kid is going to be the death of him, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Worried Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 10:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13456521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkrstark/pseuds/parkrstark
Summary: From the second Peter hangs up the phone, Tony's heart is racing.Or the one where Tony learns how hard it is to be a parent.





	hell on the heart

**Author's Note:**

> this is inspired by a post i saw on instagram where it talks about how afraid tony probably was after peter hung up that phone

Something’s wrong.

Tony knows it by the sound of Peter’s voice. He's hiding something. He can't lie and he knows this so he hangs up the phone.

This damn kid. Tony’s anxiety spikes as a dozen different scenarios run through his mind. He called the FBI, but he knows Peter won't let it go that easily. These are dangerous people. A kind of dangerous that the kid isn't ready for.

The second he hears the dial tone, he leans forward to the front seat. His heart is pounding; he can barely hear himself over the pounding of his heart in his ears. “Happy, turn around.”

“What, Tony--?”

 _“Turn around._ ” He's already looking at the GPS on the kid’s suit. “The East Hudson River. Go.”

Happy doesn't argue. He must hear the panic in Tony’s voice and swerves the car around immediately. It takes a few minutes to get there; the traffic is bad at this time of day.

Tony knows somethings wrong when he sees several NYPD squad cars parked by the dock with flashing lights. He's throwing open the door before Happy even parks the car.

“Tony, what's wrong?” Happy shouts as Tony rushes out.

Tony yells back without stopping, “The kid! It's Peter!” He hears the shouting by the police tape. The crowd is pointing and screaming.

The suit activates and encloses around him. The crowd awes and cheers him on. Tony puts as much power into his thrusters as he can. He sees the ferry splitting in half.

FRIDAY starts to play the news on the inside of his helmet. Tony has to watch the live footage: Spider-Man desperately trying to keep the ferry together. He tries hard and puts everything he has into it.

It doesn't work.

Tony deploys his mini-drones to attach to the ferry and help. He reaches the side and starts to push it in. He sees the kid inside and his worry turns to anger. How could this kid do stupid shit like this without telling anyone?

“Hi, Spider-Man. Band practice was it?”

The kid lied to him. He lied to his face to do something dangerous.

Tony is furious, but he doesn't want to take it out on the kid. So he fixes the ferry himself. He ignores the kid as he swings and crawls after him. He's asking how he can help. He's not apologizing for lying and almost killing himself and almost a hundred others.

“You've done enough,” Tony snaps as he flies off, leaving the kid on the ferry. He needs to think to clear his head.

He flies to a secluded spot and steps out of the suit. Now that it's over and Peter is safe, Tony feels the adrenaline crashing. His body is shaking and he can't breathe.

Taking a deep breath, he shuts his eyes and mutters, “Damnit.” He's been doing so well by controlling most of his anxiety, but now it's back like it never left him.

All because of the kid.

 

Tony never planned on it getting this far. He thought he'd give the kid his suit, bring him to Germany and let him do his thing.

But somewhere along the way, that kid dug his way into Tony’s heart. His unstable, broken, conditioned, heavily forted heart.

He waits for it to fall back to a steady beat. Some kid from Queens isn't supposed to do this to him. But this isn't some kid. This is Peter Parker. His kid. His stupid, reckless, dumbass kid.

 

Tony gets back into his suit. He has to see Peter and tell him that what he did was not acceptable. Not by any means.

He follows the tracker to where the kid is brooding on the edge of a nearby roof. Seeing the kid okay makes Tony angry because it could have easily ended a different way. Peter could be dead right now. But the kid doesn't seem to care. Tony does.

“Previously on Peter Screws the Pooch,” he says with a sarcastic bite to his tone. "I tell you to stay away from this. Instead, you hack into a multimillion-dollar suit so you could sneak behind my back doing the one thing I told you not to do."

Peter doesn't move. “Is everyone okay?”

Tony has a vision of Peter not okay. Drowning in the rubble of a torn ferry in freezing water. He's begging for help. Tony is too late. “No thanks to you.”

This stirs something in the kid. He whirls off the roof and storms over to where Tony is landing. “ _No thanks to me?_ Those weapons were out there, and I tried to tell you about it, but you didn't listen. None of this would've happened if you had just listened to me.” The kid’s voice is close to breaking. He's wrong. Tony knows this. But he lets the kid vent. He never lashes out at anyone, so Tony gives him the chance to.

Except his next words push it too far. “If you even cared, you'd actually be here.” His voice is cold and harsh. So unlike the kid.

But Tony sees red. Peter has no idea what it's like to look up to someone that doesn't care. He opens the suit and steps out in a swift motion. He sniffs in satisfaction when he sees the look on Peter’s face as he takes a step back.

“I did listen, kid. Who do you think called the FBI, huh? Do you know I was the only one who believed in you?” He's been cheering this kid on since day one. How could he not see that? “Everyone else said I was crazy to recruit a 14-year-old kid--.”

“I'm 15.”

Tony snaps. No, this is where you zip it, all right? The adult is talking. What if somebody had died tonight? Different story, right? Because that's on you.” He hopes Peter never has to deal with that.

“And if you died…” Visions of Peter’s lifeless body haunt his mind. “I feel like that's on me. I don't need that on my conscience.”

“Yes, sir,” Peter says, sounding too much like Tony used to speak to his dad. “I'm sorry.”

Peter doesn't understand that sorry won't bring him back. Sorry doesn't undo a stupid mistake when it ends in death. “Sorry doesn't cut it.”

The kid's words break his heart. “I just wanted to be like you.”

Tony looks away and thinks about everyone he has failed in his life. Everyone that he let down. He hopes Peter never feels like that. Peter deserves so much better. He deserves the world.

He tells him the honest truth: “And I wanted you to be better.” He's not disappointed in Peter. He's disappointed in himself for letting another person down.

  
Peter isn't ready; Tony thought he was and he was wrong. What 15-year-old kid could handle the responsibilities of a superhero? Sure, Peter has the potential, but he shouldn't have to.

“Okay, it's not working out; I'm gonna need the suit back.” Tony avoids looking the kid in the eye. He can't stand the heartbreak he sees. This is for the best.

“For how long?”

“Forever,” he says, looking back at Peter. Forever. Such a strong word. If Tony let Peter down one more time, it could be the last and then Peter is gone. Forever.

Peter starts begging like a kid. But he is a kid. A kid that deserves to live his life without this stress. Without the chance of Tony fucking up and him dying. “No, no. Please. Please.”

“Yeah, that's how that works,” Tony continues on like the kid isn't speaking. “Let's have it.”

“You don't understand. This is all I have. I'm nothing without this suit.”

Tony hates to hear the kid say that. He says he's nothing without the suit because he believes Peter Parker is a nobody. He thinks Spider-Man is the one that matters. He needs to know Peter Parker is the one that everyone will miss if he dies. Not Spider-Man. The kid can't continue if he doesn't understand that.

“If you're nothing without this suit,” Tony grabs his wrist, feeling his heart racing again. “Then you shouldn't have it.”

The kid hates him. He feels like this would be a conversation he'd have with his dad. He'd do something unfair, Tony would scream, “I hate you! You're ruining my life!” And storm away.

“God, I sound like my dad.”

He hates the way the kid is staring at him. He hates knowing he was the one that put it there. Peter won't forgive him. Tony knows this. But that's okay. Parents have to make the sacrifices for their kids. Even if it sucks.

Tony would do anything to keep Peter alive. Even if it meant not being in his life anymore.

He'd rather have Peter hate him and be alive than have him love him and be dead.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Leave your thoughts below:)


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